In case you didn't hear, Tinder announced that it would be verifying celebrities by adding a blue check mark. Why any real celebrity would be on Tinder (aside from promoting a movie or whatever) is beyond me but hey, if you matched up with Manny Santos from Degrassi, at least it's good to know that it's actually her and not an imposter.
As you may also know, I'm a celebrity. Not really. I'd like to think so. Actually, I'm not really a celebrity. I do a bunch of stupid shit on YouTube and did in the past for MLB but I'm not worthy of getting a blue check mark from Tinder. However, my mom always told me "STOP EATING ALL THE DORITOS THEY ARE FOR YOUR LUNCH" and then after that she would be like "It doesn't hurt to ask. BUT DON'T ASK AGAIN ABOUT THE DORITOS SO STOP EATING THEM." I e-mailed Tinder to see if they would verify my account and this is what I wrote. Enjoy.
My name is Ricardo Marquez. I'm a digital media maven. Basically I'm a semi-talented, creative and fun-loving spirit. You might know me from "guy in cat suit" or "The guy who burned Shantel (you don't know her) by saying 'This is an A B conversation so you can C Deez Nuts'".
I run a YouTube channel called JukinVideo. We have almost a million subscribers on the channel and 1.6 million on Facebook. I'm not saying those numbers because I want to impress you but that I can feel good about myself because I dropped out of college and am finally making my dad proud about having a stable "career". BUT WHY WON'T HE SAY HE'S PROUD OF ME?! IM DOING KIND OF OK.
I recently heard about your "verified" status and that it was only for "Swipers" that are celebrities or some weird thing like that. As you can probably already tell (but probably not cause I don't want to assume cause when you assume you make an ass of u and me. My dad taught me that before he left my mother and I) I'm VERY popular. Not like Twitter famous but people know me. Actually, I'm gonna ask my Twitter followers if they think I should be given a check mark. You can read all 5 replies here: https://twitter.com/iblogbetter/status/636648833909309440
Anyways, please send me more information or if I'm eligible. My Tinder game is at an all-time high so I really DON'T need the verification but I actually would like it next to my name. I mean, after all...I am a digital media maven.
Swiping Right 4Ever,
P.S. My assistant will reach out.
Sent from my iPhone"
This is a real e-mail. I actually sent this.