This world is filled with people who have persevered against all odds and have become a notch in American history. Rosa Parks and buses. ALF not eating the family cat. And finally, the Angels against Justin Verlander.
Justin Verlander, a hot young prospect from some American city (probably Florida. IDK, Florida seems like the kind of place a guy named Justin would come from) came out swinging against the Angels. After shutting the team for 8 innings, the team looked at each other and tried to find some shinning hope and glimmer of light as they sent up their last three batters to the plate. That's when Chris Iannetta, veteran southpaw from Italy (maybe. IDK. His name is Italian? Maybe? Is he even a southpaw? Speaking of, that movie Southpaw was kind of alright. I would get it on Redbox.) walked up to the plate with a sense of purpose. And that purpose, was to make Anaheim proud.
Peter Zilla, an accountant in Irvine, was at the local brewery as the event was unfolding. "What's happening?" he murmed as he shifted his Coors Light to the side and fiddled with the paper coaster. "I'm here for the Wednesday night pre-season football game. I really think what the NFL did to Brady was bush leagued". What Chris Iannetta did next, was not bush league at all.
"As soon as that ball hit that foul line and the chalf dust came up, I know right then and there, a parade was coming." said Spud McKenzie, a 6th grader from Fountain Valley. Against all odds, Christopher Miles (is that his middle name?) Iannetta lodged a foul line double to the corner of ComMURICA' park. Against all odds, he took down Justin Verlander. The team would go on to lose 5-0 but nothing will stop this team and the city of Anaheim from celebrating this historic feat.
Anaheim Mayor Tom Tait (Holy shit. Tom Tait? So close to taint. That's hilarious. I can't make that up) says a parade will be set for Friday and will start approx. at 10am and will feature a live tiger walking down Katella.